Is life a gamble?
Is a frequent question asked by the hoi polloi, more often than not. We can put on a face from 10-7, but there comes a moment in our day to day lives where you zone out and you ask yourself whether you’re playing a blind, or if this is what you want. Self-doubt never did any one any good and the fact of the matter is, that it never will.
I was speaking to a friend last night and I happened to be thinking out loud when I said I like the process of growing up! That is when I realised that I really do like the process of growing up!! I mean I look back and I think about my conversations not too long ago, say 2 years, and I was such a scatter brain! Just out of college, all I knew was that I wanted to be a journalist! Now, that was a tough process because I happened to do business in school and political studies in university and suddenly I decide that I want to be a sports journalist, keeping in mind my sporting career which I left behind. Now that is what I mean when I say I was a ditzy character. I was joining the rat race, but I didn’t know where or to what I was running to. But I was running because so was everyone else!
Life’s a funny one! Here I am today, jobless, but knowing exactly what I want from life. I’ve slowly started to calculate my every step. I’m not running a blind race anymore. I have a vision. I have an aim. I mean, I even have long term goals!! That never even existed in my vocab. I have expectations from myself. I’m not disparaging myself anymore. I actually think I’m one of those vivacious and resplendent characters you know? So the other day, when I was thinking about how I reached this place, I realised I was conscious of myself changing all through out. I remember the inbetweeners so crystal clear.
Everyone isn’t fortunate enough to become so sound, so soon. I’m sure I still have a long way to go but at this moment, I’m at peace with the path I’m taking, whatever that might be, and the way things are going. So many times you must have heard – yourself or others, complaining about not knowing the difference between what is right and what is wrong? I found my right. He was the solution to all my problems. I’d like to take a moment here and pat myself on the back and say that I played it smart! How? I took that right feeling and tried to find it in the other aspects of my life. So every time I get that right feeling, I know it’s want I want and I know it’ll fit in just fine.
Life had always been a gamble and going with the flow was the thing to do. But in the process of it being my adrenaline, it became my biggest enemy. It makes you lazy and laid back. It makes you do stupid things and say things you can never take back. You stop using your mind altogether. It’s bad for your integrity. Worse for your creativity and it means for you to not channel your energy and thinking in any particular situation! And so I realised, I didn’t want to go with the flow anymore. Life is too short to go with the flow. So I became the flow.
until next time,
This, is the Hensroom.